Aboard the Pure Rose
by piratesrcool
Summary: Kidnaping the infamous Captain Jack Sparrow... Not my best move
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Aboard the _Black Pearl _Mr. Gibbs was telling a tale about a ship:

"The _Pure Rose _is known to be one of the best ships on the seas, second only to the _Pearl_. It is said to be crewed by women and only women and the captain may even be crazier than Jack."

At that exact moment aboard the _Pure Rose_ I, Captain Jolene, felt something brewing inside me, some unrestlessness. Don't get me wrong I loved being captain and being a pirate but something is growing. And I even love the freedom of the sea yet something was missing.

"Jo, there is a ship ahead. What be our course?" inquired Cassandra Monserat, my best friend and first mate. I had to think for a minute. Maybe a good fight would help the unresslessness...

"Attack head on; I feel the need for a good fight." At that the entire crew cheered because we hadn't looted another ship in forever. We loaded the cannons and prepared for the fight. But as the _Rose _got closer I caught sight of which the other ship belonged to… The Royal Navy, the ship was the _Dauntless._

"Andi come here we need some quick thinking. We are soo screwed. Well mainly me, but still. Okay here's what we'll do. We pretend to be captives and when they get here they will take us onboard there ship and we will be able to attack from the inside. Oh, and take this note read it when we get on their ship."

Andi gave me the usual you are totally crazy look, but then finally sighed in defeat. I knew what she'd say next. The same thing she always said, and I didn't exactly want to here it. However, I felt if I didn't, we'd surely be jinxed or something.

"Fine, we go with your plan, but I doubt it will work, its crazy. Then again, all of your plans work perfectly, even improved ones. So, get tied up?"

"But of course. We will be captives over there at the mast. And my plans aren't crazy! They are well thought out and intelligent. So let's get tied up"

I was looking forward to this. My most brilliant plan yet! Andi may not think much of the plans but still there was nothing wrong with them they always worked. So I tied myself and Andi up then made an escape to hide from capture so everything would fall into place.

Since the fighting had just started it took me a bit to realize that Jo was gone and she was being watched by the Commodore. I realized this is my cue and broke out into hysterics figuring that would best dup the man. And as predicted the Commodore fell for the little ruse. Once I gained my footing on the new ship I read the paper that Jo had given me hoping to know the rest of the plan.

Andi,

Release the crew and arm them. Then

attack from the inside when they least

suspect. I'm right behind ye so wait for

The Signal.

-Jolene, Captain Jolene

Typical Jolene not letting it be forgotten she was Captain. Time to get everything set for when Jo gives the signal I guess. Let's go dup the Commodore to find the location of some weapons for the crew. As I walked up on the Commodore I heard one of the men say that a ship crewed by women was no harm to anyone. I mentally marked who the man was so he could pay later. Then sweetly I begged for a tour of the 'boat'. How revolting to call it that.

As the tour went on I noted everything, the weapons, the brig, EVERYTHING. So that I could arm the crew at night successfully and tell them the plan of our Captain's since they were in the dark. Yet during the tour I noticed something. Our Commodore had the potential to be a pirate; after all he was obsessed with treasure.

"Commodore…Norrington is it?" He nodded and turned his attention to me. "If you don't mind my asking, are you wearing a wig?" He rolled his eyes; I could tell he wasn't a terribly patient man.

"Indeed, it is." He turned to continue the tour, but I just couldn't help myself. I thought he had some form of pirate potential, but not if his hair actually looked like that. I sprang forward and pulled the wig off. "Excuse me! What was that?" He started out yelling, but his voice softened as he turned to look at me. Why? Because I was staring. A lot. He had ear length, deep brown hair and seeing that somehow completely transformed him. Now I could REALLY see the pirate potential.

"Have you ever considered being a pirate?"

"I beg your pardon?" He grabbed at the wig, but I moved it away.

"You heard me. I think you'd make a decent pirate."

"I sailed under a pirate flag once and it is not an experience I wish to repeat."

"Ah, but you weren't sailing with a crew of women," I said sickeningly sweetly, smiling mischievously and walking a circle around him, wig still out of his reach.

"And why would I want to?"

"You're just still sore about losing what's her name. Elizabeth was it? To that Will Turner." He glared at me and I knew I had hit a nerve. I had been acting extremely sweet and he had almost seemed to be giving in, but at this point I couldn't help myself anymore. "Ha, sucks to be you!" I plopped the wig back on his head and turned around to walk back above deck. I could feel his eyes following me and wondered distantly if Jo would mind having a previous Commodore in her crew.


	2. Chapter 2

Okay yea this is my first story, and I am co-writing it with my best friend Rochwen, so don't be to harsh please?

-Bubble

Chapter 2

"Yo ho! Yo ho! A pirate's life for me." I love that song with all that's in me. And the need for the fun that's to be had. Yet the first part was patience I had to give Andi time to arm my crew. Stupid Commodore! It's no wonder Jack escaped so easily. But then, after all my years of pirating I've learned that men are duped by women easily. How much longer 'til midnight? I need something to do until then. I could read a book, but that's no appeal. Or I could I know I could go for a swim… No, I'd lose the ship.

Get drunk! That's what I'll do, get drunk and I'm sure to be sober by midnight. Right? Of course, to the rum we're off. Maybe being drunk will help eliminate my feeling of unrest as well.

Hours later

Nope, didn't work. Being drunk only intensified the feeling. Damn! Well I think I've given them enough time. Time to go shoot the cannon at the _Dauntless. _This is going to be fun. Let's hop to it shoot the cannon swing onto the other ship brief squeamish and we're off with whatever goods they have on their ship.

Or so I thought. And hoped but Andi hadn't armed the crew yet! Oh look, I'. surrounded… What to do.

"Hello gentlemen. I believe you have a bunch of people that belong to me. Would you know anything about it?" hopefully my ruse would work. I prayed Andi would have the time to arm and release the crew while I distracted these buffoons.

"People that belong to you do you mean the pirates?" inquired Commodore Pole-up-his-ass.

"Who else would I mean? I am after all the Captain Jolene of the pirate ship _Pure Rose_. So wouldn't logically the pirates ye have belong to me? Or do ye say the pirates be someone else's?"

"Why do I have the feeling you are up to something? Like trying to rescue your crew."

"Ah… but then I could also be here to be captured like my crew."

"Meaning turning yourself in?" Clearly I was puzzling the poor man. Then I heard it the crew was coming.

"Or I could be here to loot your ship" and with that I drew my cutlass and started to attack. Unfortunately the fight didn't last long after I had my crew. But there was something between Andi and the Commodore because well she gave him the I-wish-you-were-a-pirate look. But within seconds of the end of the battle we were back on the Pure Rose set for a new day. Tomorrow was another day and you never knew what would happen.

"Jo. Captain Jolene!" I carefully poked my blonde captain. She rolled over and muttered in what I was fairly certain was a rum-induced sleep. "Jo, wake up. I've got a surprise for you."

"Andi, you have about thirty seconds to get out of my cabin before I chuck something at you," she mumbled.

"Just come see what I have. I promise it'll be worth it." Still objecting, she dragged herself out of her hammock and allowed me to pull her up to the deck.

"Dear lord, Andi," she muttered as she emerged to see the entire crew in a tight circle near the mast, "did you bring another man on board!"

"Not just any man." I lead her forward, pushing the rest of the crew aside. "Captain Jolene, I present Captain Jack Sparrow." Mr. Sparrow did indeed lie at my feet; asleep for probably the same reason Jo had been moments ago. "He was apparently being held by the _Dauntless, _and I decided you might find him…amusing?" Jo raised her eyebrows, and gave a curt nod before turning and heading back below deck.

"Alright, you all can understand that I assume. Captain Sparrow will be joining us for awhile. You're to tie his hands to the mast and then not go anywhere near him until told otherwise by Captain Jolene or myself. Or if he's dying," I added as an after thought, "you can go help him or whatever if he's dying. But try not to make obvious the fact that you've been kept from men of any decency for six months." There were numerous shouts of "aye" and a few giggles at, I assume, what they would do if the unconscious pirate in front of them wasn't off limits. Probably a few minds, mine being one of them, were trying to figure out what exactly Jo had in mind. There were only two issues I could find in having Jack present.

His crew was probably looking for him, and Commodore Norrington would probably now be looking for us. Perhaps the latter wasn't such a terrible thing…Whoa! Why am I thinking like that? I am Cassandra Monserat, first mate of the _Pure Rose_, the greatest and probably only pirate ship to be crew by only women. I need no man, nor do I waste thoughts on them unless I've spent one too many nights alone. And that was only when we hadn't been near Tortuga for awhile or looted any good ships. You see, male pirates are at a bit of a disadvantage if you ask me. When they raid a ship, the best thing they can get is treasure, maybe a few prisoners, and in very rare cases a woman to capture. Now, female pirates can get all those things. Plus, the thought of taking men as prisoners is far more appealing. And men aren't quite as hesitant to go to bed with a pirate, at least if she's female. So just try telling me we've got the short end of the stick.


	3. Chapter 3

On we go. Rochwen sends her thanx for something. I don't remember what

Chapter 3

Aboard the _Black Pearl_ the crew had just arrived at Port Royal to talk to Will and Elizabeth about an important job:

"Mr. and Mrs. Turner we need you to help us retrieve Jack from the Commodore."

What could Andi have been thinking? The last thing we need on my ship is ANOTHER man. Every time we attack she brings another one they never last long here either, pansies. And it wouldn't be so bad that there is a man on board but this one, Captain Jack Sparrow. He'll drink all my rum! And besides that he's a man of power he is the BEST pirate! I can't live up to that. I should put him in the brig, harder to break out of.

Oh look he's awake, not what I needed for the transfer from mast to brig. Well maybe this will be easy he looks like something tried to eat him. Hmm that sounds like a good idea feed him to the sharks. But then that would eliminate whatever Andi brought him on board for.

"Captain Sparrow, I see you have awakened at last," maybe being as mean as possible would make this less…unpleasant, "Welcome to the _Pure Rose._ You won't be enjoying your stay."

"Ahh so this is the ship crewed by women? Then maybe I can have some fun while I'm here." He says this with a smile on his face. Yeah buddy like I'm going to untie you. You're in my space and I don't like that.

"You are here as a prisoner from the _Dauntless_ nothing more. As soon as it is decided what to do with you your out of here and until then you are staying tied to the mast or in the brig. If you need anything Andi or I will assist you." Ha! You can't do anything you are a bad pirate.

"Would Andi be the captain of this fair ship?" Oh trying to get to me are we well not going to work. I need some rum. Let's go find it.

"Andi, I need rum Jack here is too much for me to handle without something in my system! And Jack, I'm the captain. If you knew anything of the tales of my ship you would know that Captain Jolene would be somebody you wouldn't want to trifle with. Enjoy your stay."

Yuck I feel contaminated. That bastard thought Andi was the captain. When it was obvious that I am, Andi wasn't the one giving orders. I need a drink and to punch something. Hmm… maybe I could punch Jack, that would be sooo satisfying but then someone would complain. Maybe I should let the crew free on Jack. He wouldn't survive the night. But knowing him he would.

Oh look Andi's here, she'll take the rum she hates it when I'm drunk. Something about me acting crazier, don't know what she's talking about. But I'm going to get a speech on treatment of Jack.

"I think Jack should be put in the brig. The crew is being distracted knowing he is right there in front of them for the taking." Oh she's not defending him she wants him out of sight. I like that idea out of sight out of mind. Wait he is out of sight then why isn't he out of mind. Who came UP with that phrase totally not applicable?

"Would have done that already but he awoke when I was getting ready to. And I am not moving him while he is awake, less of a hazard. So until he is out I'm not moving him. In fact I'm not going to touch him. You and the crew can move him since he is your company." Ha that will show her and him.

"Well it would be easier to knock him out with rum." Fine Andi say that in a way that will essentially mean I have to give my rum to him. Not the rum. He can have anything else on the ship but not the rum it's mine. But then she probably would still give the blasted man the rum.

"Fine but only one bottle, that's all he's getting for the entirety of his stay on my ship. Any complaints will result in loss of the bottle." And I feel a moment of weakness coming on, "And let him roam free for an hour every day but only an hour any more and he will be sorry." Take that you pomp ace ass. Get yourself on my ship again.

I took the bottle from Jo and headed onto the deck.

"Oy! Somebody go grab Jack-"Half the crew ran over to the mast. I could see him smiling. "And take him below deck and throw him in the brig. Good lord, you'd think we never let you all interact with men! Just untie him and bring him down because I'm too lazy to, I'll be right behind you." I rolled my eyes as I followed a red head leading him down. As I walked, I turned the bottle of rum over in my hand. Knock him out with a bottle of rum…hmmmmm. That could be arranged. Now, I'm not one to think twice about silly ideas that come into my head, so the bottle was empty by the time we got to the brig. Above mentioned red head released him into a cell and I followed.

"Welcome to the _Pure Rose _Mr. Sparrow." He raised his eyebrows as though expecting something. I smiled and whacked him over the head with the now empty rum bottle. Knocked out with rum. Easy enough. I stepped out and locked the cell before starting my stumbling journey back to the deck. Now, it's not that I can't hold a drink or anything, but I had just downed a half full bottle of rum in about three minutes, at the most. So, I was pretty sure I was going toward the deck…I was following the red head, I think.

"Andi?" I turned and had to grab the door way I was walking through for support. Jo was standing in front of me. "Why are you walking into a closet?" I glanced over my shoulder in the direction I had been walking. I was indeed a closet. I think. That thing was either a mop or a blonde crew member…I couldn't quite tell.

"Closet inspection," I practically yelled in a very slurred matter. "Had to make sure it was still there. It could have moved." Jo stared blankly at me. Oh dear, it was welling up inside me…this happens every time I drink too much. I could feel it rising. Jo and I stared at each other in silence. She knew it was going to happen too. No use fighting it. Any second now. It happened. It started with a little giggle, but about three seconds later, I was in tears. "Moving…CLOSETS!" I gasped through peels of ridiculous laughter. I was doubled over; tears were streaming down my face again.

"God Andi," Jo muttered. She grabbed me by the sleeve and started leading me up towards the fresh air. We passed some crew member and I pulled away and grabbed her by the shoulders. I controlled my laughter for a second.

"Beware! The closets move!" Then I practically fell over laughing.

"She's been drinking again?" I can only assume Jo nodded, but I couldn't tell. I staggered up the last of the stairs and collapsed on the deck, laughing so hard I was afraid I would wet myself. I could sense a small crowd gathering around me and sat up on my knees. I tried to tell a story, but I was quite drunk, so the effect was rather humorous.

"Crew of the _Rure Pose _be warned! There are closets on this here boat! CLOSETS! Do you know what they do?" I grabbed the knees of the closest person. "They malk! Wove! I mean move and walk! At night! When you're asleeeeeeep in your beds! They…attack!" I sprung at someone else, knocking her over. Everyone laughed a little. Now, when I get like this, if something that's actually funny happens, I'm gone. And so, I was far beyond mad. I was rolling on my back, tears streaming down my face, sides aching, face sore, laughing. Not just giggling, I mean roaring laughter. But hey, when you're on a ship like this one, you get used to this sort of thing.


End file.
